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In similar stead to last year’s summary, I’d just like to stop for a moment and take stock of where The Compulsive Squire has gotten to, now it’s reached two. A couple numbers as of December 31st 2013:

Total Posts: 240
Total Views: 4902
Total Followers: 63 (broke 50 followers in august, Woo!)
Most Popular Article (Views): 5 More Things To Do In A Frape (1691)
Most Popular Day (Views): 06-12-2013 (69, oi oi)
Total Comments: 7
Total Tags: 1317
A notable sentence in my faceless user generated 2013 wordpress report: Most visitors came from The United Kingdom. The United States & IE were not far behind.

I thought you Stateside Stunners were my biggest supporters but it’s actually the Beautiful Brits! Hopefully the odd British inflection here or there doesn’t alienate my friends across the water, that just wouldn’t be spiffing at all now would it. I deeply thank you for your views, one and all.

Looking at those numbers above I couldn’t help but compile one or two stock market-like figures just to chart TCS’s progression. Nothing quite says happy new year like fiscal consolidation. It seems the number of tags have grown by 136%. Here’s me thinking I post nothing but cartoons and Pokémon parodies. Turns out there are chips in my plate of ketchup too.

Overall views of the site have seen an increase of 173% in the past year. Based on this TCS is estimated just under 10,000 views by the close of 2014. Just under 5000 more people will know the Swedish term for “Just Right” or the odd situations I find myself in with children.

However, the views of TCS’s most popular article has gone up by 242% (the subtle and inventive frapists are growing in number). If current trends continue then, assuming everyone who viewed it committed at least 1 of the frapes, come this time next year an estimated 1900 people would have suffered a buggered facebook all thanks to me. You’ve no idea the warm feeling that generates inside.

Finally, I think The Compulsive Squire is in need of an organisational reshuffle; specifically the categories to the right. Soon gone will be the days of the big 7, “Article”, “5 Things”, “Game”, “Story”, “Video”, “Website” & “What?”. A symbol of the direction one thought this blog would go, being exchanged for one reflecting the direction it actually took. Like the plot of a coming of age film or the career path of every back-up vocalist in existence.

And so ends another year, and I’m not doing one of these reflective summary posts every year. I like looking back over my own work and being self-congratulatory as much as the next guy (granted that guy is Judd Apatow) but any amount of working out involving quadratic equations for some wanton percentages is enough to happily make me wave another year away. 2013, it’s with acknowledgement and thanks that I wave goodbye. Hello 2014. And now there’s nothing more left to say.

So, as always, welcome to “The Compulsive Squire”, a blog by myself, Comire.

Cracked: After Hours

A sexy soiree of conversation, culture and increasingly questionable cuisine.

Examiner of the established and critique of the conventional, After Hours poke holes in the popular and unearth the undeniable behind what’re shown on the silver & small screens. It’s the kind of truth that makes you feel smarter for following it, while simultaneously removing the chance of finding any genuine joy through the escapism of storytelling in an increasingly bleak existence. Kind of like The Big Bang Theory.

In any case, click on the image to the right to enjoy an awesome Cracked.com webseries. You know, Cracked.com? Like Buzzfeed for the slightly more educated. …Or less educated. Can’t quite remember, it’s one of the two.

The Pixar Theory

Reposted from Jon Negroni

Several months ago, I watched a fun-filled video on Cracked.com that introduced the idea (at least to me) that all of the Pixar movies actually exist within the same universe. Since then, I’ve obsessed over this concept, working to complete what I call “The Pixar Theory,” a working narrative that ties all of the Pixar movies into one cohesive timeline with a main theme.

This theory covers every Pixar production since Toy Story. That includes:

• A Bug’s Life
• Toy Story 2
• Monsters Inc.
• Finding Nemo
• The Incredibles
• Cars
• Ratatouille
• Wall-E
• Up
• Toy Story 3
• Cars 2
• Brave
• Monsters University

The point of this theory is to have fun and exercise your imagination while simultaneously finding interesting connections between these fantastic movies. If you hate fun and/or imagination, you probably won’t like this theory.
Keep Reading

Yay or Nay

Enter here for the parliament of internet.

College Humor’s Yay or Nay series asks the big questions to its intrepid staff of writers and filmmakers, gathering a collective of the most informed, enlightening and civilised debate known. And they only compare sexual intercourse to ordering a Filet mignon once!

Best of Youtube Geek Week

Mediocrity is a dish best served twice. If not Sex And The City films nor Jedward then it’s global video juggernauts pumping out a week of themed content, parading it into your consciousness like a lounge filling with the scent of plastic seat covers through a vent of your own construction. This time, taking the seldom seen route to be safe and sorry, Youtube moved on from the widely accessible angle of a comedy week and chose to admit only a certain kind of person spends all their time watching internet videos all day by dedicating a week just for them. Youtube Geek Week! A love letter to the dorky, subculture enthusiast and unemployed. Ranging in quality and anonymity, YGW made sure to massage every demographics metaphorical genitalia with a vast array of videos from superheroes to video games to staying well away from the creepy side of Japan. And once again, your good friend Comire sorted through a week of baby powder and old people smells to bring you roses and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Now you can sidestep showing that molecule of genuine interest and continue avoiding that label you spent most of your childhood trying to evade. Coward. Here’s the best of Youtube Geek Week.

A Geek Week Interactive Adventure

From Youtube themselves, a fantastical, world-crossing adventure like no other!
(NOTE: Has been done hundreds of times since Youtube annotations were implemented.)

We Meet Again (Star Wars Parody)

Isn’t it weird how the fabled hero of legend is always just that wherever he goes? In a fable or legend somewhere? Ancient mayan prophets and intergalatic alien races must really have a thing for quirky everyday guys or kids with a pikachu on their shoulder. Above Average explore what happens when the hero goes through 1 too many introductions.