The Compulsive Squire

Where Outstanding Humour Meets Desperate Boredom

Category Archives: What?

What is Money?

Much like a large fraction of the human race, I too reached a stage where I became mentally capable of fully understanding and articulating my thoughts. Once I’d gained this ability, the world became blessed with a 4 month old willing to express alternate life philosophies to thespians and scholars. Admittedly, I wasn’t in fact 4 months old, it wasn’t presented to Earth’s best and brightest, and the grand socio-political idea that’s to follow isn’t what you’d imagine to come out of a 12 year old on his way back from the grocers, but the idea came nevertheless. If everyone gave and took their fair share, man wouldn’t have a need for money.

I cannot rule out the chance that this sudden desire for the termination of purchase wasn’t borne from insufficient change for a packet of Skittles but whether rooted in sweetie lust or not, this was the greatest philosophical enquiry of any preteen’s life. Money is used to assure procurement of the basic needs (food, water, shelter, clothing) and luxuries (technology, accessories, entertainment etc.). So what if everything were free? You could get a home, pick up the ingredients for dinner from the shop, walk straight through the cinema after helping yourself to some popcorn you didn’t need to spend the cost of a family car to attain. It’d be great, what could go wrong? Knowing mankind, we’d probably abuse it, take more than we need and stockpile regardless of limited production rates and our fellow man. After the Israelites escaped the Egpytians with Moses, God provided them with a daily supply of mana and they couldn’t keep their bloody hands off the stuff. I doubt John Goodman at a Dunkin Donuts would show any more restraint than Reuben the slave.
Money on the mind? Click here for more.

Advertisements

What is Normal?

This is a grey circle. Also a Venn Diagram of what is considered normal.

Imagine the scenario. After a string of bad break ups, each with a man more particular or quirkier than the last, a girl sobs in her bedroom in the company of her close female friends; the main lament of her wailing being her wondering why she can’t find the man of her dreams. As she goes through the disturbingly long list criteria she expects her eventual husband to fulfil, the phrase, “I just want him to be ‘normal’, y’know?”, is used.

Here’s another one. A group of 4 broad-shouldered, plump yet muscular, oozing with alpha-male burliness guys are walking along, each of them showing staggered breathing from physical exertion and boisterous, haughty scoffs. The atmosphere around them is damp with male pride and self worth validation as they walk away from the scene where they’ve been bullying a poor soul verbally and physically. During the subsequent discussion of recent events, one of the males says, “…he’s just not normal.”
Want to see where I’m going with this? Click here.

What is Art?

Before you start reading this, take a gander at this image just here. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a minute… You’re going to have to click here to see it