The Compulsive Squire

Where Outstanding Humour Meets Desperate Boredom

Category Archives: Websites

Gizoogle

Gizoogle knows what the shizzle you wanna see! Fer'realzies.

Gizoogle knows what the shizzle you wanna see! Fer’realzies.

Zero Punctuation

The most amount of visual information you're likely to see on screen at any one time.

The most visual information you’re likely to see on screen at any one time.

Sometimes when video games commit more cardinal sins than a security guard unconcerned with the ages of the One Direction concert attendees he’s inviting back to his trailer, someone needs to speak out about it with less pauses than an F1 grand prix and this sentence combined. Enter the world of Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw and his video series, Zero Punctuation, a video game reviewing service dedicated to pointing out more technological wrong-doing than the entirety of internet after EA does a thing. While ZPs good points may include honest “I-thought-that-too” criticsm, scripts that fall gracefully between cynical and imaginatively cynical and decent, logical suggestions to improve the games that the developers really should have thought of themselves; he always has to end every rant with a tenuously linked comparison that has nothing to do anything before hand like an elderly spanish waiter holding 4 and a half tins of instant coffee for his fucking pet toaster.

Did You Know Gaming

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Did You Know Gaming. From humble Tumblr beginnings, Did You Know Gaming has emitted a steady flow of astute gaming tidbits so insightful and interesting in its golden stream of truth, that it totally doesn’t deserve the urination metaphor I was about to make. Over the course of the last few months, DYKG has managed an inversely proportional relationship between its exponential growth in fans and increasing obscurity of video game facts. Basically, imagine the life cycle of a 4chan meme and replace it with video game trivia and you’ve kinda got it.  Either way, here’s an example of their youtube episodes but be sure to check out the site daily for all the tiny little things you never knew (and certainly won’t improve your life in any way once known) about gaming.

Spartz

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What do you get if you crossed an ancient Roman gladiator with a youtube video about kittens? Nothing. How is someone from 100BC supposed to get an internet connection, they’re from completely different time periods? You’re not an absolute moron, right? So anyway, Spartz Media is a fantastic network of websites all with the aim of giving idle hands the ‘next page’ button it deserves. The rate of updates are unbelievably frequent and they’ve been going to years; this means you’re going to be clicking the next button for longer than Spartacus has been a scary roman ghost. Think, the Cheezburger network, but not too oversaturated with low-level humour like using a spoon when you should’ve used a shovel. And uh- oh, after saying that looks like a fiery feline with cheeze on it is approaching my window. Well be sure to check out Taste of Awesome, Memestache, Unfriendable and the whole gang; I’ll be here enjoying the idea of potentially having removed up to a year of your life and served it over to our overlord, the internet. If I haven’t mysteriously disappeared to cat-related- GHHTDT;'”%&$SGN:%”&RGN’]#;XFGNZ!

LiveMeme

LiveMeme is a pretty awesome site dedicated to servicing its viewers with only the highest quality of that particular sub-category of meme that even the most cyberly-challenged of individuals seem to grab any old google image without a loss of composure or close family members and just give it a go; the advice meme. Advice memes have been dragged into a sea of over-saturation and degradation over recent years and LiveMeme, in my opinion (which is more critical than overly masculine father meeting his newly-outed daughter’s first girlfriend), fights back with epic colours, flashy glows and moving jpegs (which is nothing less than witchcraft).

A couple favoured categories of mine are:

Socially Awkward Awesome Penguin/Socially Awesome Awkward Penguin/Socially Ambivalent Penguin

Lame Pun Coon

Forever Resentful Mother