The Compulsive Squire

Where Outstanding Humour Meets Desperate Boredom

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Here’s to you reader.

January 1st 2012. A random 20-something you’ve never heard of, motivated by a personal annoyance with the design and navigation options offered by Tumblr, had the wondrously unique idea of creating a free WordPress account. Clearly unaware this act was, not only grossly cliche millennial behaviour, but also a public admission to a lack of New Year’s Eve plans whatsoever, he enthusiastically spurred forward and created a blog. You see, our well meaning protagonist figured himself fairly knowledgeable of the web. Resourceful almost. Perhaps, entertaining. He’d frequented many a I can has cheezburger, Taste of Awesome, LiveMeme and the like and felt he could almost be a curator of sorts. He could gather funny internet happenings in one place – heck, he’d been doing it on Facebook for years and they kept on moving the ‘links’ button. Why Mr Zuckerburg won’t let us find that short film from 2009 with all the logos is a mystery to everyone. So, relatively green in the world of blogging, the young man mustered all his energy, a few HTML codes and 4-5 former tumblr posts, and set forth to create constantly vibrant archive of humour and entertainment. And my, my, what an incredible 7 years it has been.

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25 Female Comedians Everyone Should Know

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25. Jenny Slate
Her tenure at SNL may have come to a premature end thanks to an on-air F-bomb, but Slate’s done quite well for herself since leaving the late night juggernaut. Most visibly, she’s had a star turn as Jean-Ralphio’s equally obnoxious twin sister on Parks and Recreation, but she’s put in appearances everywhere from much-missed cult hit Bored to Death to Bob’s Burgers and House of Lies. And of course, she’s the voice of Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, the most adorable series of shorts to ever grace the Internet.

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White Privilege: Explained

Omar Ismail gave a great answer to an intrepid Quora user’s deeply resonating question. And may we never forget this vital piece of knowledge: you’d never find this useful kind of information on Yahoo Answers.

5 Questions I Still Have About Nintendo Switch

Author: Joshua Comire, KeenGamer

Unless you’ve been frozen in carbonite for the last few weeks, chances are you’ve heard about the Nintendo Switch.

You may have seen it pass through your facebook trending news section or caught the first look video on youtube. Or, if you’re a regular visitor to this site, you may have seen us mention it once or twice.

For over a year, Nintendo kept us on the edge of our seats with unflappable silence in the face of a high school locker room’s worth of rumours. Then we were allowed a peek behind the curtain and I felt like that kid who got the Nintendo 64 for Christmas. Audible screams of sheer excitement may have occurred.

However as much as we were shown, there was lots of information yet to be shared. Hours after watching the video, and scouring the following press statements and interviews, I channeled my inner Hermes Conrad shouting, “That just raises further questions!” Here are some of the things that I need to know. Right. Now. There’s a special Nintendo Switch Presentation planned for January 13th* with Hands-On Experience events planned for January, that should feature significantly less White Denim.

PRICE

You know something everyone loves? A bargain. Few things make a person sweat with lust more than a buy one get one free sale. Who doesn’t love seeing a store with ‘50% off’ signs as far as the eye can see? And enter Nintendo, offering a 2-for-1 special: a portable gaming device and a home console, all-in-one. It’s got the hallmarks of a damn good deal. The only thing that could ruin this now is if there was an absurdly high price tag. But they wouldn’t do that…right?

A good launch price can really get the ball rolling on a new console in a great way. We understand these are multi-functional, technologically cutting-edge machines and/or borderline magic, but if priced just $50 too high, it could end up feeling like one of those bars that have a happy hour but the drinks are twice as expensive. Don’t be that multi-national corporation.

General speculation would have you believe that the combining of portable and home console tech is a recipe for doubling the price. General speculation would also have you believe other idyllic notions like the Switch dock doubling as a USB storage device and it definitely launching in March. However, a large element in the production behind Nintendo’s consoles has always been choosing the cheapest but most durable materials to keep costs down, and passing those savings onto the consumer through markedly lower pricing. Nintendo consoles often launch a clear $100 less than the competition. Even their most expensive console to date, the Nintendo Wii U, retailed in two forms: the $300 8Gb Basic Edition, and the $350 32Gb Premium Edition. Both notably less than the PlayStation 4 at $400, and Xbox One at $500. So if the Switch can launch at the $300 mark, and the games and accessories are priced around $50, this could be the start of a Nintendo renaissance.

But on a completely unrelated note, I hear you can get a decent iPad for $200.

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12 Days of Deadpool


Since December 14th 2015, your favourite merc with the mouth has been getting in the festive spirit before the release of his film on February 12th. How you ask? Through promotional posters and social media marketing! It’s most unconcealed commercialisation of Christmas since festive facebook credits. Check them all out after the jump.

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