Music Level: Asian

A wise man once said, “no matter how good you are at something, they’ll always an Asian kid half your age, doing it twice as good as you”, which was really inconsiderate of my dad to say during that martial arts tournament. And thanks to the internet, we’re no more than two or three guitar strings away from being reminded how utterly pathetic we are in everything we endeavour to achieve, which I’m pretty sure was one of the main goals behind Youtube anyway. So here are a few flaunting their casual ability to generate music so beautiful, it’d make Helen Keller turn into Louie Spence.

Violinist plays Super Mario in real-time

Of course, this was recorded just after he’d played several football matches and just before he’d consumed a spaghetti bolognese of unnecessary size and flamboyance. And the suit wasn’t removed once.

Every little helps

So this whole internet thing has really taken off, hasn’t it aye? However, even though our lovely little lives are nice and cushy, we still want it that little bit easier, we still want it that little bit better. We’re effectively living in the future now, with our high-data transfers, online shopping and discovery platforms for Justin Bieber. If our grandparents wanted to get an hour’s worth of music in a storage device smaller than the palm of your hand, they’d have to wrap some stones in a napkin and shake it up and down. Regardless, turning 2 button clicks into 1 is always better, that’s just how ruthlessly lazy efficient we want to be. Well, here are a couple internet trinkets I’ve seen over time. Some of the links are in the subject titles.

1. Photoshop advice through the handy medium of rap!

If PhotoShop be standing between you and some kickass graphics, then CMYKilla and the whole PhotoShop crew will be there for you. There’s even a Part 2!

 

 

The Best Of Old Spice

Isaiah Mustafa (or to call him by his birth-name, The Old Spice Guy), is something of a God among men. In fact, I’m pretty sure that at the birth of modern language, he jumped out of his time machine (powered by punching a swinging bear carcass) and chiselled the spoken word into a rock with a rasher of bacon. His work is the stuff of internet stardom and deserved incredulous hyperbole. Before Christmas 2011, Old Spice reconnected with Hercules’s arm wrestle buddy, to do another a series of videos called Old Spice MANta Claus. In honor of this, I wanted to show my favourite submissions from the Old Spice catalogue of adverts manliness.

Questions

Sheer adonis-like randomness and beautifully chiselled chaos which ultimately ends in me hysterically choking out, “why is he wearing jeans!”

Insert 1 Coin

Welcome to “The Compulsive Squire”, a blog by myself, Comire.

Through my years on the internet, I’ve seen some things. Weird things. Horrible things. Degrading, depraved and mind-bendingly impossible things. But above all, funny things!  And I wanted a place where all those things that make me chuckle more than Dr Hibbert at his own jokes resided. And so here we are, with The Compulsive Squire. I hope you enjoy.