December 13, 2015
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All hail Queen B. She’s a Diva, a Dreamgirl and Destiny’s Child. The original independent woman. Ever since she hit the scene we’ve all felt an emotion akin to your first Krispy Kreme or first sexual encounter – Dangerously in Love. Her serenity knows no bounds, her grace knows no limits. Flowers grow in her presence and rulers become like peasants. She is such a goddess amongst mortals, it’s entirely possible somewhere out there exists a society where their term for a deity is called “a Yoncé”. She is a singer, a mother and an unstoppable force of nature, with thighs that could end Chun-Li’s career and dance moves could end civil conflict. And anyone who says otherwise can suck a dick.
Ok. Now that I’ve hopefully dissolved the flood of hate incited upon reading the title alone, let’s get started. Beyoncé. That name has come to represent a lot over the last 20ish years. A leader of both the charts and aimless band members called Michelle. A beautiful soul with an even more beautiful voice, that has given the world classic performances never to be forgotten. A fine, strong willed, career focused woman and the epitome of the American Dream whom over all others, chose to marry a man whose lips have their own area code. And that name also represents an album that took an idea, and missed its mark.
I’m not here to badmouth the music of her self-titled album, BEYONCÉ. Musical tastes are entirely subjective, there are no right or wrong opinions. And the fact of the matter is the album sold almost 1 million copies in 3 days breaking iTunes records, enjoyed great reviews across the board, earned 3 Grammy awards, an MTV Video Vanguard Award, 3 more MTV VMAs, A soul train award, an AMA. I might be going out on a limb here, but people seem to like it. Furthermore, as a fan of her music, I personally hold a lot of respect for her and would not want to disrespect her craft or belittle her divine talent. No, I just want to bash everything else about this album.
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