The Compulsive Squire

Where Outstanding Humour Meets Desperate Boredom

Tag Archives: social media

TrickPics

Never fear, dropping your gear. ‘Cause there’s an app for that.

BreX

Bruno Alexander, a digital artist from Brazil, has combined the two things the world has been waiting for. Contemporary pop stars, and Pokémon Gym Leaders. Scattered all over his Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, DeviantArt, and even Behance, are depictions of real life people in the setting of Pokémon Generation 6 downtown boss battles. As an artist, Brex’s deliberate use of gradients and eye for caricature is superb, and will definitely keep him in business with commissioned work for a while yet. And as a social media presence, Brex is more widespread than Zubats in a cave. Gotta share ’em all.

Followers

This is horror one can expect when taking pictures of ramen, harassing other people’s pets and joining coyly off-brand social media sites.

5 Technological Curses of the 21st Century

Technology can be pretty terrible even at the best of times. In a nihilistic existence moving closer to an inevitable end of what could possibly be eternal blackness or failing that a potential afterlife of lasting, unrelenting, tortuous damnation, who needs to be asked if they would like to send an error report?

Life has become a lot more cluttered and distracted since the turn of the century. In the middle of writing that last paragraph I checked facebook for notifications, looked at my Amazon wish list in case anything had dropped in price and wondered the year the Sega Genesis was released but mysteriously wiki-chained all the way to Mark Ruffalo’s filmography. Then I skipped the next 3 songs playing on my phone before searching the lyrics for the song I stopped to rock out to for 3 and a half minutes. That was a lot of time wasted and a lot of life lost, only to find out Farmville is still a thing, that bag has gone up by £3 and The Hulk might have played Sonic The Hedgehog when he was 23. So before I get distracted again here’s a list of things that are spoiling modern day life, starting with…

HD will ruin you and you won’t go back

HD. Allowing the man who wishes to watch naked women with such clarity, he’ll no longer feel obliged to make love to his wife. High Definition viewing is as unnecessary as it is successfully convincing others you have a personality. Deep down we all know this. But regardless, anything less than 720p makes you feel more disgusted than finding a hair on your body that’s not yours. That’s just how we roll. What exactly were all those old family videos filmed on anyway, a microwave?

Our upgrade to HD was sudden and universal, like the number of women who stopped finding Robin Thicke attractive. Once upon a time society was collectively happy with their 50 Hz Toshiba TVs, back when “standard” resolution wasn’t anything to be ashamed of. Then, from the spawn cloud of technological evolution, widescreen TVs came along, waving around their increased fidelity and built in anti-aliasing. Standard TVs hadn’t a clue what a HDMI output was, as they sat there quivering in their scart cables. This gave way to HD-only channels. Now you needed a new TV or a TV that was ‘HD ready’ (which sounds more like a Flight of the Conchords parody than anything else), to be part of it. Suddenly television watching has become like a nightclub, and several TV networks have VIP sections. And up until 2008, you’ve been wearing trainers.

Standard quality was never bad on its own, but compared to High Definition it feels worse than licking an Osbourne soaked in ebola. Without any effort, Billy Big Bollocks HD has made Lil’ Timmy Standard look like the girl at the bar with 2 different shoes on, stealing napkins and sniffing other bar-goers. Yes, we can see picture more clearly now than Johnny Nash, but at what cost?
Click here to find what other conveniences have irrecoverably damaged us as a people