Click here to catch up with Pt 1.
But even Hotshot Harry and Paranoid-Pete can agree on at least two things.
So I’m sitting in Costa Coffee like an anecdote opener with no build up; awkwardly. I’m awaiting my companion’s arrival when suddenly an inner nervous disposition strikes. Although a normal James Franco-like character would sit by himself confidently, maybe being entertained by the movement of a light spot on the wall as the door opened and closed, my paranoid inner-Toby Maguire begins plotting unnecessary aspects of the coming encounter. An array of chairs are available and I have a couple extra moments – neglecting preparation of indescribably pointless details seems totally folly. C’mon mind, let’s take the mental tour of torture, starting with where we sit. Do we place ourselves close to the window? Well, exposure to the world and an increased chance of detection by anyone familiar may not be what my accomplice wants. Negotiating the situation so the line, “Oh, how about we sit where people can’t see us.” is something my evidently low self-esteem wants to avoid at all costs. However, gazing out on to the nihilists, nerdowells and neanderthals that inhabit my local area could provide a constant reservoir of entertainment and discussion. Or perhaps further back? Hidden, intimate, dependent on words and looks alone. The necessity for flowing, deliciously light conversation is at its peak. Laughs and smiles mean more when there’s nothing else to distract, as does awkward pauses and look aways. With all the passersby and background noises stripped away and you have only the others company to source entertainment from (and vice versa), will the person opposite have a good time with the hope of doing it again, or will it end with a hesitant hug cut even shorter by a sprint to the bus. Well thank you brain for creating such a lovely- oh right, you’re not done yet.
Do we sit on the leather couches? Given the comfort and space awarded with the 2-seater-set-up, can I trust a hand won’t openly scratch my lower regions or a feminine ‘both legs folded a top the cushion’ stance won’t be adopted as a sink into behaviours only seen within one’s living room…or is a relaxed me, a more attractive me? It’s almost become a back and forth between myself and a brain insistent on being the contrarian.
Brain: How about glancing at the menu and deciding what you want now?
Me: Makes sense. I’ll at least use this time to make up my mind rather than later getting accused of spending 10 minutes looking at a spot of reflected light on the wall.
Brain: But if you decide now, it’ll look like you’re getting the same old thing you always get. That just seems boring and unadventurous.
Me: Ok then, I’ll just pretend to make up my mind on the spot.
Brain: And if you get caught acting? Well that’d be even worse. Well done, dickhead, you tried to appear cool and impulsive, turns out your even more pathetic than that guy struggling to figure out which button hole he’s missed, staring at his reflection in the coffee shop window-.
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