The Compulsive Squire

Where Outstanding Humour Meets Desperate Boredom

The 8 Most Irresponsible Drinkers in Videogame History

BY ANDREW BRIDGMAN, FROM DORKLY
There are a lot of things you should never do drunk – drive, text, walk, pretty much anything except “fall asleep and hope you wake up with a low-level headache.” The list gets even longer when you’re a videogame character, who should probably be saving the world or preparing for battle instead of trying to re-enact the SHOTS video. But that never stopped some virtual characters from takin’ a few swigs too many at some inappropriate times. These are the 8 most irresponsible drinkers in videogame history.

8. Commander Shepard (Mass Effect 2)

While he’s supposedly in a race against time to recruit a team to save the universe from the Reaper menace, Commander Shepard can sidle up to a bar and ask for a few drinks. And if he keeps asking for drinks, eventually the turian bartender will offer to make a special krogan drink for him, since Shepard’s pretty sure he can handle it (having already come back from the dead once this game, odds are they can resurrect his liver once more, right?). It’s a drink that’s so strong that it’s practically radioactive (which usually doesn’t matter for krogans, given the whole “our entire race is dying out anyway” thing). If Shepard takes the drink, he instantly passes out and wakes up on a bathroom floor. Ignoring the nasty questions of how exactly he ended up there, it feels like maybe Shepard should get back to trying to stop those deep space-dwelling civilization-eaters instead of knocking back space-margaritas and passing out in front of urinals.
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